Still of the Night
by Ferdy 63
Summary: After the battle with the Governor, Daryl and Beth are on the run and separated from the rest of the group. This one shot deals with their state of mind in the aftermath of Hershel's death and losing the prison. I had to write something to deal with all the angst after last Sunday's episode. I'm so sad about Hershel (and maybe Judith?). Reviews are greatly appreciated.


His ears were still ringing from all the gunshots. It was a little disorienting but his instincts kicked in and he forged ahead through the woods with Beth on his heels. He'd look back at her occasionally just to be sure she was doing okay. She looked as dazed and exhausted as he felt. They'd have to rest soon. It was starting to get dark. They'd have to find a place to stop.

The reality of what had just happened kept sneaking up on him. He'd get a sudden flashback of the sword as it sliced into Hershel's neck and have to stop for a second and take a breath. He couldn't imagine what Beth must be going through yet she hadn't broken down. She was still moving, doing her best to keep up with him.

He wasn't sure who else had died. Everyone had scattered. He was pretty sure he'd seen Maggie and Sasha running around the side of the prison as he grabbed Beth and followed. They'd disappeared before he could catch them. He hadn't seen Rick or Michonne after the shooting started. He didn't know if any of the sick people inside the prison had made it out. For all he knew, they might all be dead. He kept pushing it down. He couldn't let it get in his head, not now. He had to keep Beth safe. If anyone was left alive, he'd find them.

The last of the light was fading and there was no kind of shelter in sight. Darryl pushed Beth up into a big pine tree and helped her climb about 10 feet up. He took his belt and fastened her to one of the branches to keep her from falling. She still hadn't said a word.

"Hey, Beth, you alright?" Daryl whispered.

She looked at him with brimming eyes and nodded, "We all had jobs, Daryl. We all had our jobs. I don't know what my job is now. Daddy always told me what I needed to do. Do you know? What are we supposed to do now?" She sounded like a lost little girl.

He took her hand, "Our job is to find everybody else. Once we're all together again, we can decide what to do. Right now, you need to rest. We can't travel through these woods in the dark. Just try to sleep a little. We'll start out as soon as it's light."

She sobbed once and then wiped the tears off her cheeks. She'd been barely more than a little girl back on her Daddy's farm. Now she looked so much older and so tired. This world didn't allow anyone to stay young and carefree. She looked out into the blackness of the night and finally closed her eyes. He knew she probably wouldn't sleep. Neither of them would.

He balanced himself on a large limb and leaned back against the tree trunk. He could hear rustlings in the woods and an occasional grunt or moan. The walkers were out there. It was hard to sit still knowing that those things were wandering around somewhere down below him and his friends were out there somewhere too.

It was harder to keep the images down now that he was sitting still . Only a few days ago they'd all been together. Now, Carol was gone. Hershel was dead. Everyone else who'd survived was scattered. He thought about what Beth had asked. What are we supposed to do now, he wondered. Even if Rick and some of the others had made it, they had no safe place to go. How were they supposed to survive? Go back on the road again? Move two or three times a day to try and stay ahead of the walkers? Live on one scant meal a day if they were lucky? And there were so many more walkers now, herding together. There didn't seem to be an answer that would mean survival for many.

"God damn that sumbitch!" he whispered. If the Governor was still alive, Daryl was going to make sure that was a temporary state. That man had taken too damn much from all of them.

Beth's quiet response startled him, "God has already damned us all, Daryl. The whole world. He's made hell on earth. That's what this is. It's our punishment, our hell, don't you think ? We have to live in constant fear and watch everyone we love die and everything we care about get taken from us." She sounded completely calm and rational but something in her voice frightened him.

"God ain't got nothin' to do with happened to your Daddy, Beth. That was the governor. He hated all of us for what happened in Woodbury. It was his doin' not God's," Daryl told her angrily.

"What about what happened to my Mama and my brother? What about Sophia and Lori and T-Dog? What about the farm? He wasn't the one who did all that. We didn't even know about him then. No, Daryl, I think we're all bein' punished. We're paying for the sins of the world," she calmly continued. Her voice had taken on a kind of hysterical pitch.

Daryl was getting worried. Beth had tried to kill herself back at the farm. He wasn't going to let her do that again.

"If this is Hell, then how do you explain Judith? How do you explain Maggie and Glenn findin' each other? What about your Daddy survivin' getting' bit and havin' his leg amputated? How do good things like that happen if we're in Hell? This is life, Beth. We never got no guarantees that it was gonna be one great big rosy trip till the end of the line, not even before the walkers. You were lucky. You had a good family, a happy life, until last year. Hershel was one of the best men I ever knew. I know you'll miss him but he was there for you for a lot of years. Be thankful for that. Not all of us have happy memories to fall back on. Stop feelin' sorry for yourself and get some rest. We're gonna need it when we get back on the trail tomorrow."

Beth was quiet for a long while. Daryl would hear an occasional sniffle. He figured he'd hurt her feelings, being so gruff with her, but he wasn't backing down. She wouldn't make it far if she didn't get her mind right. All that talk about Hell and God's punishment just made a person want to sit down and give up. That was not an option.

The noises of the forest night lulled Daryl's weary body and he dozed off briefly with his head resting against the rough pine bark. "Daryl?" he heard Beth whisper.

"Yeah?" he mumbled without opening his eyes.

"You're right. Daddy and Mama would want me to keep trying, and to find Maggie. I'm sorry about what I said before. It's so hard all the time now and I get so tired. Daddy always knew what to say to make me see things clearly. Now he's gone and I guess I just felt a little lost. Thank you for remindin' me of what's important," she told him quietly.

" 'Salright," he replied, "We all need a little push sometimes. I know I'm no Hershel but I'll give you a kick in the pants when you need it, if that'll make you feel better."

"Okay," she chuckled through her tears, "and I'll do the same for you. If you need it."

"Deal," he agreed, "Now stop your yapping and get some rest."

He felt a small hand on his shoulder as she whispered, "Okay, g'night Daryl."

He sat very still listening to her breathing until it became slow and even. She must have finally fallen asleep. It felt good to know he'd eased her mind some. Nothing but time was going to heal her heart.

Getting close to people over the past year had been a journey. It was something he'd never had in his life before. Sure, he was close with Merle but it was different. Merle was family. He didn't like his big brother too much but you didn't turn your back on family. Now, he had people that looked up to him, depended on him, like Beth and Carl. He also had people that he respected like Rick, Glen and yes, Hershel, people whose loss would be felt as much as if they were family.

His mind drifted then to thoughts of Carol. It didn't seem possible that Rick had told him about her less than a day ago. He hadn't had time to process it before the tank shell had hit the prison and then all hell broke loose. He wondered where she was. Would he ever find her again? He damn sure planned to look, but first he had to get the group back together as much as possible and get Beth to safety.

Carol would be laughing at him right now, sitting here like an old man, worrying about everybody else. She was the one who'd made him open up to the rest of them. She'd made him believe for the first time in his life that he was worth something. Her belief had given him confidence. He missed her and felt that loss more keenly than any other.

Daryl had never been one for praying. God hadn't ever been around for much in the Dixon household through the years. Maybe it was Beth's talk about God earlier that prompted it, he didn't know. Whatever the reason, for the first time since he was a very little boy, Daryl looked up at the stars and whispered, "Hey, Big Man, if you're up there, keep her safe 'til I can find her. That's all I'm askin'. Just keep her safe." Then he leaned back against the tree to wait for the first light of morning when they could start their search again.


End file.
